Everything happened and ended with a blink...
It hit quite hard on me as I always wanted to tighten the relationship with my grandparents ever since my maternal grandfather left us before I could say anything to him..
But somehow, there seems a barrier or something that is stopping me. Something that I have to overcome fast before I lose it again.
Last September was a hard one for me and my family. My ah gong fainted and was admitted to the hospital. Doctor's comments then wasn't positive, 2 weeks of survival if he still rejects dialysis.
He was a tough man I must say...
"Nothings wrong" he would say to comfort/ make us less worried. But my heart aches... because I could only hear his voice getting weaker and weaker and at last... he lost all his strength few days after he was brought back home.
That very morning, right before I leave my house for work, I picked up a call from my aunt and I broke the news to my dad.
We prepared and went to my ah gong's house. I heard sniffing sounds when I reached and I told myself to hang it there because I know this would be the best for him.
Walked into his room and looked at him one more time. I touched him and said in my heart, " I love you, ah gong... and you will be at a better place~".
We held 7 days of wake, little more days then the normal as our family is pretty huge and he was also once a businessman and the founder of a clan and we expect quite a lot of people visiting.
The last 7 days with ah gong...
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As we need to take care of the wake, we "worked" on shifts with our uncles and aunties. The grandchildren take turns to overnight for the 7 days and one of our cousin got this "bed" for us. |
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Lots of wreaths flowers and blankets from visitors. |
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Blanket from the Aljunied GRC. |
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This represent the individual clans/associations. Some were under my ah gong and others were my first uncle's. |
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The front of a Taoist wake. |
There were 2 group of associations representatives who came and played the instruments for ah gong. I understood from my dad that ah gong used to love the songs. They played different type of music and I can't remember their names for it. But, they were different because it originate from different province of China.
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One of the instruments: "ya kar" - It means coconut shell in Hokkien because it is made of coconut shell. |
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"Production" department... |
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"Finance" department... |
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A picture with my nephews.. |
The night I overnight with the rest of my cousins...
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We challenged to fold jin shan for ah gong. |
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Dear over night with me at the wake too and he completed himself a full bag of papers. |
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Washing the dishes too, so next day uncles and aunties do not have to worry about it. |
The last night.....
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The last dinner together before we start our prayers. |
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While waiting for the prayers to start. |
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Ah gong's great grand children. |
And on the last day, it was of course the most painful day for us.
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The last time to we see ah gong. |
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Band engaged by the son-in-laws. |
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All the grandchildren forked out money to engage lion dance troupe to send ah gong. The last thing we did for him and it is also his favorite. |
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All mum prepared this leg padding for us to send ah gong off as we gonna walk a very long distance for the send off. |
Lastly, someone posted a video on youtube for the send off:
Ah gong was cemented at Mandai Crematorium Columbarium. The pain of losing him and the pain when we see his coffin being pushed to cement stayed clearly in my mind.
I'm thankful for being his grand daughter and be in Poh family. Though the last few days he couldn't remember my name, I'll always remember the last words we spoke.
The next day, we collected his ashes and placed in the temple and packed his and ah ma stuff.
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A photo of ah gong & ah ma when they were young. |
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The phone card they used. |
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Their belongings I'm keeping |
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Found a picture when daddy & mummy know each other for a month ... DATING!!! |
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Most of their grandchildren and ah gong and ah ma... |
I really feel that family relations are very important. I felt the bonding from my father and his siblings and from the whole Poh family. Stories from daddy and cousins, old days pictures...
I really gonna miss the times we are together during chinese new year eves when we are much more younger. The bond and the crowd... Now, both ah gong and ah ma have gone to a better place, I really hope that this very strong bond will not fade off as the times come by and I'm sure its something ah gong is wishing for too.
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